4 Tips To Lasting Friendships

Lasting Friendships

Sabrina has asked me several times now to write a guest blog post for her. I’ve never written a blog post for someone else and I’ve only written one for my own blog which I quickly abandoned and haven’t decided if I’m committed to.

I’ve pondered the idea of doing this, but haven’t known what to write about and then it hit me, “Why not write about friendship?” After all, isn’t it friendship that brings us together?

Some of the greatest and saddest times of my life have been with friends. I imagine that is the same for you. I’m not a betting woman, but I bet as soon as you read those words, you remembered a time… You remembered when your heart was broken and your friend was there for you and you also remembered the time she hurt your feelings and things were tense.

You wondered if you’d ever get over it. Hopefully you did and if you didn’t there may be a little scar left behind. Friendship is one of those treasures from above that with the right kind of attention and care can bring about amazing things like; joy, serenity, warmth, security and that ever elusive feeling of belonging.

Blessed With Friends

Some of us love LOTS of FRIENDS and some need only a few close confidants. Those without friends ache inside for that emptiness to be filled with someone to do things with, warm beverages drank together and a listening ear. It’s just natural to want relationships of this kind.

I pretty much have always considered myself blessed in the friendship department. I’ve had an extremely hard childhood and have struggled in life with many things, but one thing that the Lord has always provided for me was friends of all levels.

I think in part because I’m friendly, but I also believe it’s because I’ve been willing to put in the work that goes along with maintaining some friendships. I wish I could maintain all of them to the level I have others, but for me that hasn’t been possible.

Some people really do come into our lives for a period of time and then we carry them forward in our hearts. I have had many special people like that in my 45 years. I choose not to dwell on the fact that life led us down different paths, but cherish those sweet memories.

It just warms my heart remembering who was with me when and how we played, grew up, celebrated studied, prayed or even cried together.

Greatest Success

I’ve had many failures in life including two failed marriages, a mountain of college debt and 50 extra pounds I can’t shake because in all honesty; I love food when I’m happy, nervous, sad and bored. Sound familiar?

I’ve had great successes as well. I raised my son by myself, started with my GED and ended with a Master’s Degree, handed my life over to the Creator, married God’s choice for me (which has made all the difference) and am doing my dream job as a therapist.

There is one more success I haven’t mentioned yet; FRIENDSHIP. I count lifelong friendships as top successes in life. Sabrina and I for instance have been together for 30 years. I’ve known her longer, but our friendship started around age 15.

Another childhood friend and I have been together for 42 years. I tell her she is my longest relationship and other than cousins (who are among my closest friends) it’s true.

 

How some may ask? How can a person maintain or rekindle a dear friendship?  Here is my quick and dirty response, because after 30 and 42 years, I could write volumes on the topic.

4 Tips To Lasting Friendships

• Don’t let them go. It’s that simple. There are some people we can’t let out of our lives because the hole would just be too big. Stay in touch if you don’t live near them. Call them, write them, and travel to them. I have rarely lived in the same town as my besties and it has worked.

 

• Accept their flaws and be forgiving. Long time friendships can be different than the ones that form because there are current things in common. People change and grow.  Opinions, hobbies, and lifestyles change. If the person is important enough to you, have an accepting heart and just enjoy who they are and where they are at in their stage of life. Maybe you can open your mind to new thoughts and ideas. At the very least, you might learn to understand what makes your friend tick differently. Friends make mistakes and even if we find ourselves hurt and angry or even just dismayed, a true friend will offer forgiveness even if there is remnants of the pain left behind.

 

• Pray for them. There is nothing that will tender up your heart for someone like praying for them. Let God love them through you. He of course is the truest and best friend any of us can have. Praying opens our hearts to loving like Christ.

 

• Last but not least; have some fun. Some friends are light hearted and easy going and others are serious. No matter which kind you have, take time to laugh together even if it’s at your differences. Laughter is the glue that will hold your friendship together.

Final Thoughts

Tina and I have in fact been friends for 30 years.  Most of those years have been separated by hundreds of miles, but we’ve remained close most of that time.  When we get together and it’s usually like old times.  I love her sweet heart and hilarious laugh.  It’s totally contagious.    She’s a wise women and my hope is that you, my readers, will see more of her here on All Things Genuine, because she truly is Genuine in my life.

 

How long is your longest friendship?   Have you always been close or have there been rough times too?

♥Sabrina and Tina