Do you have adult children that haven’t left the nest yet? Does this kinda stress you out at times? Are you conflicted as to whether they should stay a little longer or if you should make them fly? Do you let them all of a sudden do whatever they want or do the rules of the house still apply? Do you charge them rent or do they help out in other ways?
I think the 5 tips to parenting adult children below will help you answer some of the questions you may be asking yourself .
Our Adult Children
We have 2 adult children at home still. Now to be fair they are still teens technically. And the youngest is still in high school for 2 more months. But the fact still remains that they are adults.
Since they are adults they are wanting to be treated like adults. And why not? It time. It’s time for them to really pick up the slack for themselves. To really take responsibility for their own actions. To take a good hard look at their future and figure out what they want it to look like. And that’s scary.
Will they get jobs, move out and pay their own way? Will they go to college to finish their education? If so will they stay home a little longer to save money? Will we let them do that?
College means debt. Debt is scary. Especially when your 18 & 19. What if the education doesn’t reap the job they are expecting? Then what?
All good questions they both must face. However, they do not have to face it alone.
I think each family needs to figure out what works best for them. As parents we must be careful not to “do” life for our young adults. Gods word says we all must work out our own salvation. I think this applies to “life” so perfectly.
5 Tips For Parenting Adult Children
Let them know you love them and you will be there for them, but they must be responsible for their own actions. It’s time to step up.
If it works for your family, let them stay at home for awhile, but make sure they are paying their way. They should be paying for their own car insurance, gas and even cell phone. If they can afford their own tire bills, car repairs and medial copays, that’s a good start as well. If asking for a certain amount of money each month from them works best for you then do that.
Micah travels 33 miles for school, I cover that gas bill, but any extra is on her.
Both kids have “dumb” phones. Our cell bill is high enough as it is. If they want smart phones, that bill is on them. They know that, so they still have basic phones.
I’ve asked Jordan for 100$ month to help cover the food he eats. Boys can put away the food, let me tell ya!
If they are living at home, they’ve got to help out around the house. If they aren’t doing chores, they are just mooching. That isn’t right!
There must be consequences for their irresponsibility. If they skip out on rent the landlord will evict them right? So, if they arent paying their bills, let them reap those consequences. Don’t offer to pay them unless your young adult has exhausted every other option and you set up a repayment plan with them.
If they aren’t doing their chores you’ve asked them to do, then take away those things that you pay for. If they want them back they either earn them back or begin paying for them on their own.
Do not be afraid to send them packing if the time has come. I know of 3 families that have done that and it worked out well for those 4 young adults, and it’s been several years now.
Allowing our adult children to suffer some of lifes adversity is so good for them. If we fix everything for them all the time, they won’t learn anything. They will always expect everything to be fair and easy. My friends, nothing in life is fair and most of the time it isn’t easy.
Micah 7:8 Though I fall, I will rise again.
Do you have parenting tips for those with adult children? What worked for you? What didn’t? Please let me in on your secrets in the leave comment link above.